Learning to Live with Intention
Being a working mom is a bit like being a circus performer—you’re constantly juggling responsibilities, trying not to drop anything important. Some days feel like a beautiful balancing act, while others are pure chaos. Over the years, as a human resources manager and a mother, I’ve learned that the key to not losing my mind (or myself) is living intentionally.
Intentional living doesn’t mean having every moment perfectly planned or achieving a flawless work-life balance. It means making choices that align with your values, letting go of guilt, and accepting that you can’t do it all—and that’s okay. Every mom’s journey is different, but if you’re navigating the dual roles of career woman and caregiver, I hope these lessons help you breathe a little easier.
The Myth of Balance—and What to Aim for Instead
For a long time, I chased the idea of balance. I imagined a perfectly divided pie chart: equal parts work, family, self-care, marriage, friendships, and community. In reality, that pie chart looked different every day. Some weeks, my job required extra hours and attention; others, my kids needed more of me. And sometimes—I just needed a break.
I’ve learned to shift my mindset from “balance” to “presence.” Instead of trying to do everything at once, I focus on being fully present in whatever role I’m in at that moment. When I’m at work, I give my team and tasks my best effort. When I’m home with my family, I try to be truly there—phone down, mind off work. Presence brings peace, even when things feel out of balance.
Quality Over Quantity
Like many working moms, I’ve battled guilt. Guilt for missing school events. Guilt for ordering takeout (again). Guilt for being too tired to play a board game after dinner. But I’ve discovered that it’s not about how much time you spend—it’s how you spend it.
Intentional parenting means showing up in small, meaningful ways. It means asking thoughtful questions during car rides, showing up to the events that matter most, and making eye contact during conversations. It’s not about baking cupcakes from scratch—it’s about knowing your child’s favorite subject or who their best friend is this week. Quality time can be five minutes of connection over a bowl of cereal or twenty minutes of laughter before bedtime.
Making Space for Yourself
This one took me the longest to learn. For years, I believed that being a “good mom” meant putting myself last. I skipped workouts, said no to girls’ nights, and told myself pottery class could wait. But eventually, I realized that when I neglected myself, I became resentful, impatient, and burnt out. That didn’t help my kids—and it definitely didn’t help me.
Now, I make space for the things that fill me up. I go hiking on Saturday mornings, even if the laundry isn’t done. I still take pottery classes because it clears my mind and gives me joy. And I’ve learned that setting boundaries at work and home isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. My family deserves the best version of me, and I can’t give that if I’m running on empty.
Work and Family Aren’t Opposites
A powerful shift happened when I stopped seeing my job and my family as being in competition with each other. I started looking for ways they could complement one another. My work in HR has actually made me a better mom—more empathetic, better at listening, and more comfortable having tough conversations. And being a mom has made me a better leader—I’m more patient, more organized, and I know how to handle meltdowns (both toddler and adult!).
I’ve also learned to involve my family in my work life. I talk to my kids about what I do and why it matters. I let them see my passion and purpose. When they understand that my job is part of who I am—not something that takes me away from them—they become more supportive, and I feel less conflicted.
Letting Go of Perfection
Spoiler alert: perfection doesn’t exist. My house isn’t always clean. I’ve sent my kids to school with mismatched socks. I’ve shown up to work with coffee stains on my blouse. And you know what? Life goes on.
Letting go of perfection has been freeing. It’s okay to ask for help, to say no, to mess up. What matters is being honest, forgiving yourself, and laughing when things go sideways (which they often do). Intentional living means making peace with imperfection and choosing grace over guilt.
Leading with Heart—At Home and at Work
At the end of the day, both parenting and leadership come down to the same thing: leading with heart. Whether I’m supporting a team member through a career challenge or comforting my child after a hard day at school, it’s about showing up with compassion, consistency, and love.
There’s no single roadmap to being a successful working mom. We all figure it out as we go. But by living intentionally—choosing presence, embracing imperfection, and prioritizing what truly matters—we can thrive both at home and at work.
If you’re a working mom reading this and feeling stretched thin, just know this: You’re not alone. You’re doing better than you think. And most of all, you don’t have to choose between being a great mom and a strong professional. With intention, you can be both—and more.